What is Life Coaching?
"How does life coaching work? When I see it on TV, it looks really weird. Is it some kind of 'new-agey' thing?"
I'm often asked, "How does Life Coaching work? What does a Life Coach do?"
Different Answers
It's a bit difficult to answer, because of the different ideas behind "Life Coaching". For example, Tony Robbins calls himself a Life Coach; and we see some really strange things happening on TV in the name of Life Coaching!
"Proper" Life Coaching — that is, the skill that Life Coaching schools teach and has come about after research, development and invention — has, at its core, a type of active listening.
Now, active listening is hardly new, but a Life Coach takes it to a whole new plane. It also borrows a few pointers from NLP, and adds a few methods of its own.
Life Coaching starts by assuming (as NLP does) that the client already has all the necessary resources. It also assumes that the client has all the answers (but just doesn't realise it).
The coach goes on to draw out, in a way that to this day leaves me amazed every time it happens, the answers from the client.
Life Coaching — The Accident
Sir John Whitmore and W Timothy Gallwey had a coaching school for tennis players and skiers. They were using this "new" form of coaching that had been developed. When they ran out of tennis coaches one day, they dressed their ski instructors (who knew nothing about tennis) in tennis clothes, gave them each a tennis racket, and told them under no circumstances to try to hit the ball!
They had a massive surprise. The tennis players improved hugely under the coaching of the ski instructors, beyond what the tennis coaches had been achieving.
It didn't take long before business in America found that this "new" way of coaching worked not only for sport, but also in improving the efficiency of executives. Thus was born "Executive Coaching" for executives. Then came "Business Coaching" for all business people, and, eventually, "Life Coaching" for individuals (after all, an executive is just an individual).
Life Coaches on TV
Obviously, TV needs to have something that's interesting, fun, and sometimes shocking to watch. The result is that the "life coaching" that you see on TV — even by qualified life coaches — is nothing whatsoever like formal Life Coaching, and it makes me laugh whenever I see it on TV!
Further Reading
Nancy Kline did some amazing research into why sometimes kids would be creative and have fantastic insights, yet other times the same kids would be dull and uninspired. She wrote the results in her book, Time to Think.
Kline explains her ideas in an easy-to-read way, and is a "must read" for parents, spouses, carers and teachers. Although it's not Life Coaching, Kline's work has had a direct effect on its development. This is one of my all-time favourite books.
